418:Source of Pain

Author Notes
Using Jessica to channel my feelings again, and address something more.

There’s a common trait I’ve noticed among many transfolk who begin transition later in life begrudging the younger generations who’ve had the opportunity to start in their teen years, preteen years, or even younger. I’ve done it myself in the past, but it’s a trait I didn’t like in myself (or anyone), so I’ve tried to get over it. I still suffer the occasional twinge of jealousy, but I’m a big girl, so I should really try to act like it.

Did I start transition later in life than I would have liked? Oh god, yes. Does that mean I’m unhappy now because I didn’t get to live the first 28 years of my life the way I wanted to? Yeah. But you know, I’m still the happiest I’ve ever been. All it really means is that I shouldn’t waste my time sulking and make the most of the next however many years I have left on this earth. I want to be happy. I want everyone else to be happy. Why would I (or anyone) begrudge anyone else that right?

While I’m on the subject of age, I want to stress to some of my older readers who wish to transition but have not: there is no right or wrong time to start. It’s not necessarily easier when you’re younger (so don’t think you’ve missed some arbitrary window), and it’s not necessarily harder when you’re older (I know people who have started in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and even 60s; they’re doing great). There’s also some myth I’ve heard a few times that hormones have no effect after age 25-35 (every time I hear it, the age varies). I want to debunk the hell out of this. I mean, I’m almost thirty (certainly over 25), and the effects I’ve experienced have been phenomenal (honestly, better than I’d hoped for). The same goes for many of the older trans folk I know. Perhaps it’s slightly less effective then it could have been, but I don’t for a moment believe there’s actually a cutoff when it just becomes outright ineffective.

In the end, if you want to transition – young or old – I think you should.

I’m preachier than usual, today. I guess I had a lot on my mind with this one. ^^;